Knowing when to read the little signs.

     There is a point to this one, but it may take a little time to find it. 

I have started going to the gym at 6am because I have to be to the office by 8:30.  There is a collection of  "older" men that all work out at that time.  They dont actually work out together, just at the same time and they all sit there and have coffee afterwards.  They are fun,  relaxed, nice guys and I have become friends with a few of them.   If you dont know.  I nutted up and wrecked the new race car this weekend.  I think its completely fixable but the timing is really poor.  It has been hard for me to learn to race it because it is different than the other one.  This weekend was different.  I was actually really enjoying the car and turning the fastest laps at the east track that I ever have.  It was a joy I think the only thing in life I have enjoyed more was getting married.  Until I lost it on the right hander which I tried to do without braking and backed it into the pit wall.  Which I knocked over.  I dont know how fast I was going but it was by far the hardest hit I have experienced.  I have worn a silver Tiffany choker since Mark passed away. It was his.  The impact actually broke the choker, it stretched a link far enough that is fell off me into my drivers suit.

      I have been trying to not be upset about it and then somebody put some shit on Facebook about it and I've still put on a happy face and today I was whistling in the locker room at the gym.  One of the old guys said well somebodys happy today.  I said not really but I am working on it. Thats when he said " you must be like my son.  He struggles with happiness and I have to go visit him at the hospital this morning"  I asked why and he replied.  "heroin overdose".  Now that is some reality at 7am.  makes my feeling sorry for myself for wrecking the race car pretty damn insignificant. 

     Time to read the signs.  I have the happiest life I could have.  A wonderful husband and in-laws that I have fallen in love with as well.  I have a wonderful sister. The best friends anyone could have. A great house, a great job and I get to enjoy my hobbies with all of them.  Not one thing here that is any bigger than a bump in the road.  I am not going to wear the choker any more.  Time to focus on the future, what I have right in front of me and this awesome life I have ahead of me. 

Some times its the little signs that we need to pay the most attention too.