Life's Lessons Never End

Sometimes we go through things in life that we really can't control. Some of us can't help who we fall in love with either. I've always been amazed by those who can. So I'm going to spend a few minutes telling you some very personal things about myself and if your not interested don't read any further. Four years ago this June I lost what I thought would be my life partner to Alcoholism. I took care of him at home the last three weeks of his life and held his hand while he passed away. A gallon of alcohol a day will eventually kill you. Especially if your dedicated. You never imagine that you will have to start life over half way through. Because basically when you lose you're other half at an early age that's just what you have to do. So I did the only thing that I knew how. I went on, or I thought so. On the outside I tried desperately to keep everything the same. I went on with my life, business, social etc. All the while secretly inside there were days that I truly hoped I just would never wake up again. Several of them. Several times a week I wished that I had the balls to end it all. Obviously I don't. My business crumbled partly because of the economy. The ensuing job search was a nightmare as it became painfully obvious that not having a college degree was going to make it increasingly impossible to support myself in the lifestyle that I had become accustom to. While pretending everything was normal I've sold most of the things that I had that were dear to me just too keep afloat.

Then this last Christmas two things that happened made a huge difference for me. Someone in my life I am very grateful for and to made a comment to me that made me realize it was time to make a choice. And I applied for a job and got an interview for a position that I though I would never get. Basically it was time to make a choice to just give up for good, or really REALLY get on with life again. Actually participate not just pretend.

Throughout all this I gave up on the horse business for good and I started racing one of my Corvettes, something I had always wanted to do. I acquired a whole new group of friends, some from the Corvette club that I have joined and some from the various other racing clubs that you have to belong to when you race. I also joined a private club racing facility in Wilcox AZ. This last weekend I decided to invite some of my friends and racing buddies to the track to be part of something that I love and truly enjoy. Honestly I am hoping that some of them join also so I have more people to have fun with at the track. This was a weekend for others. I didn't even take my car though I could have if I wanted to. I wanted others to have the opportunity to experience something that is special to me. I cannot lie I did take a few rides in other cars, and I did use the owners Corvette and make a few hot laps. Most of my time was spent taking pictures and encouraging the rest of the group. We had a wonderful time. A first class experience start to finish. We all camped at the track in our R.V.'s and spent two great days together. Not everybody I invited could make it. Some had to work, some had family issues, some had previous engagements. I hand picked the group with the thought that either the track would benefit, or the invitees would. They fed us while we were there, helped us maintain our cars, introduced us to prospective new members from out of state and treated us to a first class weekend.

The basic reason for this post was I learned a life lesson this weekend. Someone who has benefited greatly with an already established relationship with the track was not invited. When asked to address this at the last Corvette gathering I explained that this was a weekend centering around individuals who either hadn't been to the track before, or somehow mutually the track or the person would benefit from it. I had discussed my thoughts and invitees with the track before the invitations were extended. This person who obviously felt left out took it upon himself to send an e mail that really hurt my feelings. He was careful, nothing in the e mail was directed at me, except the subject line, but his intent was perfectly clear. Fortunately for me his intent was also clear to the recipient. I was astonished. This is a person who socially, professionally and as a racer has achieved things that I surely will not. I understand this. It's not an issue with me. I am an amateur racer who has only been racing 3 years. He has raced numerous cars for most of his adult life. 50 odd years more than me. I am usually a strong person, and maybe I should have let this go and not bothered to respond at all. After the last few years that I've made it through though I have learned that some things are worth fighting for and about. I don't appreciate subversiveness. If you don't like me fine. I don't give a shit. But stay out of my business especially when it doesn't concern you. I do very few things to hurt peoples feelings. I grew up with the meanest bitch on earth and I know what the consequences are. I may be a bit brash, I say what I think and don't ask me a question unless you want the answer. Unfiltered is a really good description for me.

Friendship is an important thing to me. I cherish my friends. I work on my friendships. I have invested time in them and I am fiercely loyal to them to a fault. And I am a bastard when I need to be.

Life's Lessons Never End

Beautiful women and like trees in a forest. They come in all shapes and sizes.

And so do the ugly ones. Pictures to follow.

Last night I had the privilege of working one of the local fashion events. This is one of the responsibilities of my new job. Some of you that have known me for a long time probably aren't surprised, and some of my new friends might be surprised and wonder what I would wear. Especially those of you that are used to seeing me in my unemployment wardrobe. Put your fashion fears aside. I have a dozen nice sports jackets, three suits, one tux, 6 cotton pullover sweaters, and enough Polo dress shirts that I only have to go to the cleaners once every five weeks. I clean up really nice, or I make the attempt anyway.

So last nights event was a product launch for a company based here in Phoenix. We took a booth with magazines and samples from some of our advertisers, goody bags, free photo facial coupons and a big beauty basket to be raffled off. Of course a veteran Mary Kay salesman won the beauty basket so that was kind of like feeding candy to someone who is obese bed ridden. May taste good and be a nice gesture but pretty much a complete waste. She did let us take her picture with the basket, but didn't want us to use her name. An example of true vanity at its best. There was quite the cross section of industry professionals in attendance. Up and coming dress designers, hair stylists, nail salon owners and techs, jewelry designers, sportswear designers, and plenty of others all passing out business card and trying to stay afloat in this economy. What struck me the most was the vast difference in style, and dress, and probably social status of the attendees. Not to mention their behavior. This event was a testament to the theory if you give them alcohol and food they will spend spend spend. Which they did! Some of the women went to the cash register several times.

Back to my observation about beautiful women being as varied as the selection of trees in the forest. I have to say on the whole is was a very beautiful group. Some way better than average. Most of them right in the middle, and some too ugly to mention. Except for the gal that was in a mini skirt and had legs the size of redwood tree trunks. I wanted to give her some fashion advice by my partner from work told me to keep it too myself. Its a shame. She had a great face but there is not a leg man on earth going to touch her. There were women in furs, real ones, not the fake ones that are all the rage today. Tall slender ones with long blond hair and perfectly purchased faces. Enhanced ones, Some made up, some plain, some dressed to the 9's and some in sweats. What I would like those of you who are reading this to take away from this drivel is that beauty is a state of mind. The most beautiful women there were far from perfect! They carried themselves with a grace and confidence that drew the other women to them. They were tall and short and slender and not so slender, but they were truly beautiful.

So remember that Billy Crystal was really lying when he said it's not how you feel it's how you look. Truly beautiful people are beautiful inside first and the rest just takes care of itself.

Life with Tess and other casual observations.

By now most of you know that I have adopted a Border Collie. She is an older dog and I decided to call her Tess because she reminds me of Shirley McClain in her movie Guarding Tess. The longer that she lives with me the more she really is like the crazy old bird. I've also decided that she has some personality characteristics that definitely could be classified using human diagnosis.

First: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder: She keeps her dog bowl, her dog bed and her possessions in some kind of order that only she can understand and keeps track of them all the time. She thinks I am one of her possessions. Which ties into the next trait.

Passive Aggressive: She whines and carries on if I leave her in the yard when I go to the barn, when I take her with me she follows me and gets in my way constantly trying to herd me around to where she wants to go. She hates when I lead the horses around and she doesn't like when I go in the stalls. When I start riding the two year olds later this year I am pretty sure she is going to have some type of complete breakdown.

Shoplifting: She started out with a few toys that I bought her on the trip home which she promptly tore to shreds and ate. Now she gets Hannibal all upset stealing one toy, and when I get it back for him she steals the rest of his toys and guards them on her bed.

Control Freak: The Horses are not allowed to run and play. She barks her ass off. The corgi's are not allowed to play fetch, she chases them and grabs them by the neck and makes them stop. Usually causing a fight where one of the offended individuals wont let go of the grip they get on her. Whatever seat she is riding in while in the truck is hers and Hannibal must then ride on the floor.

Thursday while I was she was unable to steal a toy from Hannibal to tear up and decided to rip into a box on the floor full of natural health products leftover from the last rotten job that I had. She settled on a bottle of deTox pills. Eat one pill and drink with 16 oz of water. She ate all the pills in the bottle, and was guarding the bottle and the cap when I got home. Nobody wanted it but her, but it was hers and she wanted everyone to know it. Well aside from drinking volumes of water, Thursday night and Friday went by pretty uneventful. That is until Friday night when I chose to sleep upstairs and she chose to shit fifty times in my bathroom. I no longer have rugs on the floor in the bathroom because they were too nasty to wash. Not only was this terribly stressful for Tess, and me, I really don't like to have to clean up dog shit first thing in the morning, but it was especially difficult for Hannibal. You see it was hard to teach Hannibal not to shit in the house and after many spankings and a few beatings I finally lost my temper and physically rubbed his face in it and he wore shit outside in the yard for a day. Nasty but effective. The result is Hannibal would blow up before he would shit in the house and he reacts very aggressively when one of the other dogs has an accident. Growling and shaking and such. I don't blame him this time. Tess really made a mess and I'm sure he didn't want me to use him as a mop.

Aside from that I have very normal dogs.