Are we really fighting for equality, or just whining and letting somebody else do the hard work.

     The shootings in Orlando and the reactions from various people around the country has had me thinking for the last week.  The posted reaction from politicians, some clergy, the Pope, and the gay community itself seem to be all over the board.  Those of you who choose to read this will have to bare in mind that it's my own opinion and I don't expect you to agree with it. Frankly I actually care very little what most of you think.  Some of you will express opinions that agree or disagree,  How much credence that I give each opinion depends only on one thing.  How much I value you as a human.  I'll admit right now I know some of you enough and the answer is damn little. 

     WE as a gay community demand gay rights.  Supposedly we want to be treated just like everybody else.  We want legal benefits and rights.  We want the same treatment economically, the same rights to bathrooms and wedding cakes and the list seems to be unending. 

     WELL IF THATS TRUE, THEN WE NEED TO START BEHAVING LIKE WE DESERVE THOSE RIGHTS.  Marching in a gay pride parade, dressed in fetish wear is not the answer.  Wearing only a rainbow colored jock and riding on a float with a bunch of drag queens carrying a sign saying "We are with you Orlando" is not the answer.  A gay pride parade has not one thing to do with marching for gay rights.  Its strictly an event for self expression.  If you can prove me correct then somebody please cite an example.  Its not marching for solidarity, I didn't hear anyone chanting "gay lives matter".  Citing the feeling of safety because the local police had to show up in force and patrol trying to head off any violence is not demanding equal rights.  Equal rights under the law maybe, but frankly that's a piece of paper that is worthless unless in the eyes of the world we are just as normal as everyone else.  Every time we hide in the closet we are allowing prejudice, Every time we sneak into a bathroom because we are transgender we are allowing prejudice,  When we form our own sports leagues, and gay Olympics, and car clubs etc. we are allowing prejudice and segregating ourselves.  I myself am guilty of these types of actions.  I tried to hide my sexuality most of my life, from my Parents, my family, my friends, business associates you name it.  Its easier to lie about it by omission than to be brave and face the consequences by just being honest.  You see at this age I am tired of the struggle.  I don't attend gay pride events.  Not because I am ashamed of being gay.  I gave that up years ago.  Because that type of behavior disgusts me.  I don't want to watch a gay man hump his boyfriends leg, anymore than I want to watch a straight man hump his wife's leg.  I don't want to attend a parade for nudists any more that I want to attend a gay pride parade.  The scenery at both is equally disgusting and usually in poor taste.  I don't want to parade around the streets advertising what I do in the privacy of my own home, and I don't want to know what you do in yours, and what the hell do you want the police and the government knowing as well. 
   
     Don't bother to argue that gay pride events are used as fund raisers in support of the gay community.  Yes in some small part that is true.  Tragically the amount of money raised at those events is usually embarrassingly small.  Less that ten thousand dollars for a pride parade the size of Phoenix's, Less than two dollars for everyone participation.  Cheap Bastards.  There are some truly wonderful individuals in Phoenix that dedicate time, energy, and money to causes, and you can count them on one hand. 

    Basically what I am saying is that if we as a community want to be treated equally, then its time we start acting like we deserve it.  We need to start doing our part.  Time to mobilize, and march in unison when an injustice is done.  If you are transgender and need to piss.  Don't make a federal case about it.  Just walk in and use the bathroom of your choice.  Trust me some people may talk but the majority of them wont give a shit.  We need to show up in force when the Westborough Baptist Church decides to protest.  They always announce their intentions and frankly they are not one bit afraid of the gay community.  The minister that was assaulted by the young girl last week should have been assaulted by many other gays as well.  He earned it.  He deserved it.  Maybe if somebody clocks him upside the head with a bat everytime he spews his hatred he will learn to keep his ignorant mouth shut.  Elected officials that make public statements that are disparaging to gays need to hear from us, through phone calls, emails and even marching to the courthouse or wherever his local offices are.  We are too passive.  We can get married and we do it at private homes or the justice of the peace or by some county official.  Hell have a wedding, rent a venue, order a cake, have a reception and demand to enjoy the ceremony just like anyone else would.  Put on suits, look like the responsible people that we are and attend political functions demanding attention by our actions and our voices.  We are not a stupid group.  We are intelligent, and we have valid opinions and beliefs and we have become far too passive. 

    I have become far to passive myself.  From now on if I get caught up in the emotion and I want to reach across the table and touch my partners hand at a nice restaurant for dinner I am going to.  Everybody already thinks to men at a romantic dinner are gay anyway.  Time to show how proud we are of our partners and that we love them just like everybody else does.  I am sitting at Starbucks listening to two Indian immigrants speaking in their native language.  They have more rights than we do and I was born here.