With everything going on in Washington today. The fighting between the right and the left and the state that the country is in. I have a had a few thoughts that I think are relevant to the upcoming mid term elections.
First. you do realize that the Russia Investigation, spouse abuse, paying a porn star, and the miserable excuse we have now for the FBI, absolutely no work is being done by the congress and the senate. Health care needs to be fixed. Immigration, our roads and bridges. Medical Marijuana, CDL licensing, Viable alternative energy, inheritance taxes unemployment, banking regulations, , etc. Just a few things that should have been addresses 35 years ago. Since I have been voting these same issues come up year after year. Just take the last 12 months. Have any single issues been handled.
Just think about what they are doing in Washington and if it is doing anything to improve your daily lives. WE ELECT people to run this country and handle the issues that we dont have time, energy or money to handle ourselves. Our elected officials have one singular responsibility. To run our country. I dont want them in my bedroom and I dont care what they do in ours. I dont want them passing moral judgement on me and I dont give on shit about their morals. I want them to do the job they were elected to do. Our media is out of control and they are in control of the issues that we see in front of us every day. They never, NEVER as an important or relevant question. They are too busy pissing about a $160k payment for sex that happened before our president took office to ask why havent the congress and senate gotten to work for the people.
This fall when you go to the polls think about a few things. We dont have to settle with the candidate choices we have. We can write in. We can leave blank, we can simply not vote for the choices we have. Its been a year since they have done any real work so sending them back to the drawing board and coming up with real candidates. If they cant work on programs that make our every day lives better. They dont need to be in Washington. They need to lose their special perks and privileges have to live with the same health care that we have. The same laws for sexual abuse, No more paying for their sins. If they get in trouble they need to be out.
Every sane person knows the president has no real power. Our country is run by the senate and the congress. Its time they were made to do the work they were elected to.
Wednesday, February 14, 2018
Sunday, January 21, 2018
The Womens March, I guess its just a matter of perspective.
Frankly, I don't exactly understand all this woman's march stuff. These women they show on T.V. Where do they come from. They are not like any of the women that I grew up with, was raised by, or circulate in my life now.
I was raised around strong intelligent women. My grandmothers were housewives who did what was expected of them at the time. They worked outside the home when needed. They raised their children took care of their husbands they were married to business owners and farmers and they worked hard everyday and complained little and I never knew them to be unhappy with the lives they led. This wasn't some utopia, it was real life. My mother is a strong intelligent woman who worked a real job owned her own business, worked with my father, raised us and I never ever though she was oppressed. She raised a strong intelligent daughter who has never had a problem with being oppressed. I have an entire brood of female cousins who are strong willed, educated, intelligent non oppressed women.
When I did date women they were strong intelligent educated purposeful women. They grew up and matured into exceptional humans. Definitely not a group of oppressed women with vagina's on their heads.
The women that I have associated in my life have not been that way either. All of the women that were in my various 4-H clubs, high school sports teams, high school class mates etc. are not indicative of the women that you see marching. They've grown up to run cities, manage portfolios, have modeling, nursing, law careers. My Music teacher, 4-H leader, were strong take control women who were far from oppressed.
Even in my everyday life today I am surrounded by and have been surrounded by completely independent, intelligent, respected women. The horse industry is full of women who run businesses and their lives responsible for the lives of countless horses and customers and youths that they have raised. My adult women friends run businesses, they are bank presidents, single mothers, and small business owners, they raise respectful intelligent children. Most of the women that I know today are married to successful men who with out question treat them as equals. Most of the men that I know treat those women with the same special love and respect that my father treated my mother.
None of these women are marching with vagina costumes on demanding for rights that they already have. They don't get government checks for child care or health care or women's health issues, and if they did. They would do it respectfully and regrettably until they were able to support themselves without the help of the government.
When I see these women on the news they are like no other women that Ive known. First of all they all look dirty. Do these women bathe? The majority of them are dressed like they are homeless. They tend to all look like the women you see on Facebook being made fun of at Wal-Mart. How can you be taken seriously when you look like a zoo animal. My mother used to say " you want something to cry about?, I'll give you something to cry about". How would these women like it if they didn't have any rights. The hell with health care and prenatal care lets take away their voting rights and their rights to drive and work get an education like most of the third world countries. The comparisons that I have seen made between the women's rights marchers and the Chinese people who march against the government and through Tiananmen square are ludicrous at best. Those people in China have no rights. They cant even get pregnant without government permission. This lazy group of marchers wouldn't make it a day living in China. And Whoopi Goldberg and various other celebrities giving speeches and marching are just as big a joke. The public pays you to be entertaining, so frankly shut the fuck up and try and entertain us. You have chosen your life and you have no valuable opinion as far as I'm concerned.
None of the women I have known are like these women. I'm sad there are so many in America who frankly seem to have very little to contribute and just want to take from the rest of us.
I was raised around strong intelligent women. My grandmothers were housewives who did what was expected of them at the time. They worked outside the home when needed. They raised their children took care of their husbands they were married to business owners and farmers and they worked hard everyday and complained little and I never knew them to be unhappy with the lives they led. This wasn't some utopia, it was real life. My mother is a strong intelligent woman who worked a real job owned her own business, worked with my father, raised us and I never ever though she was oppressed. She raised a strong intelligent daughter who has never had a problem with being oppressed. I have an entire brood of female cousins who are strong willed, educated, intelligent non oppressed women.
When I did date women they were strong intelligent educated purposeful women. They grew up and matured into exceptional humans. Definitely not a group of oppressed women with vagina's on their heads.
The women that I have associated in my life have not been that way either. All of the women that were in my various 4-H clubs, high school sports teams, high school class mates etc. are not indicative of the women that you see marching. They've grown up to run cities, manage portfolios, have modeling, nursing, law careers. My Music teacher, 4-H leader, were strong take control women who were far from oppressed.
Even in my everyday life today I am surrounded by and have been surrounded by completely independent, intelligent, respected women. The horse industry is full of women who run businesses and their lives responsible for the lives of countless horses and customers and youths that they have raised. My adult women friends run businesses, they are bank presidents, single mothers, and small business owners, they raise respectful intelligent children. Most of the women that I know today are married to successful men who with out question treat them as equals. Most of the men that I know treat those women with the same special love and respect that my father treated my mother.
None of these women are marching with vagina costumes on demanding for rights that they already have. They don't get government checks for child care or health care or women's health issues, and if they did. They would do it respectfully and regrettably until they were able to support themselves without the help of the government.
When I see these women on the news they are like no other women that Ive known. First of all they all look dirty. Do these women bathe? The majority of them are dressed like they are homeless. They tend to all look like the women you see on Facebook being made fun of at Wal-Mart. How can you be taken seriously when you look like a zoo animal. My mother used to say " you want something to cry about?, I'll give you something to cry about". How would these women like it if they didn't have any rights. The hell with health care and prenatal care lets take away their voting rights and their rights to drive and work get an education like most of the third world countries. The comparisons that I have seen made between the women's rights marchers and the Chinese people who march against the government and through Tiananmen square are ludicrous at best. Those people in China have no rights. They cant even get pregnant without government permission. This lazy group of marchers wouldn't make it a day living in China. And Whoopi Goldberg and various other celebrities giving speeches and marching are just as big a joke. The public pays you to be entertaining, so frankly shut the fuck up and try and entertain us. You have chosen your life and you have no valuable opinion as far as I'm concerned.
None of the women I have known are like these women. I'm sad there are so many in America who frankly seem to have very little to contribute and just want to take from the rest of us.
Friday, December 1, 2017
Silent no more.
I have struggled with the decision about whether to write this blog or not. Watching the ongoing parade of women and the men who have abused them in every facet of our lives I decided that I would go ahead and write. Not as much for myself, but for everyone else who is silent and damaged by abuse. Abuse comes in many forms. Physical, Sexual, Emotional, and Verbal just to name a few. We are almost to the year 2018. We are supposed to be an educated, evolved, modern society. Abuse in this day and age should not occur with the frequency that it does. It makes me wonder for all those who speak out about abuse, how many soldier on silently never saying a word. While the abuse may be stopped or end. The after effects may last forever. For some it becomes a daily struggle just to make it through the day. It can effect every aspect of their lives. Self esteem, depression, guilt, self abuse, fear and living in their own private emotional cell.
This blog is for those who are silent.
Last night after work while walking in Fry's foods. I inadvertently witnessed a mother verbally abusing both her son and another young lady. High school age young people. It was so inhumane that it snapped me into an emotional flashback that frankly completely surprised me and changed the way I will act and react in the future.
As I walked in the door an Angry woman said "where is she?, I will walk back there and find that bitch if she doesn't show up". I kept walking and went and selected a cake. On the way I passed a young lady and two young men walking the other way. I grabbed a cake and headed to the self checkout where I could hear the woman yelling at the kids. They had moved to right outside the exit door. It was after I got off work at 9 so there weren't many customers around and apparently no adult Supervisors on duty at Fry's because nobody had the presence of mind to make her stop. I was doing a pretty good job of ignoring her until I left and as I walked past them on the only way out the door she told the girl "not to speak to her or she would slap the face off her head".
That's when it happened. The flashback, I snapped, I remembered an incident from my youth and I could no longer keep silent. I saw the embarrassment and humiliation in their faces and remember the same situation and feelings. I stopped and basically told the woman to shut the hell up or I was going to call the sheriff and CPS. At which time she took a step toward me and said" Its non of your business and shut the hell up". Wrong move. She may have spent a lifetime of bullying people but that night it wasn't going to work on me. I told her one more step and I would knock her on her ass and then call the sheriff and report her for child abuse. I found myself standing over her telling her something to the effect if she didn't want kids she should have given them to somebody who could appreciate them. She didn't deserve them, She was abusing them and she needed to make some real changes in her life. I didn't back down until she reeled it in and talked to me in a civil voice. She was as angry as any one I have ever seen, but she was smart enough to shut the hell up. As I was getting in the car the young lady walked by on the way to her car and I asked her if she was all right. She said she was, she didn't look it, and she thanked me for caring. I felt angry, embarrassed, exhausted and too many other things to mention.
When I got home I told Brian about the incident and had a good cry. You see. If you hear " you goddamn dumb ass" often enough. You start to believe it after a while. Verbal abuse is just as bad as physical abuse because you hear it and it works on your head. Jesus keeey riist how stupid are you. Each phrase said over time piles on until the weight is like the earth on your shoulders. Brian has heard me get into an argument. I have a very violent and uncivilized vocabulary when it happens and I am not proud of it.
I understand at my age I should be over it. I understand that at some point you become a responsible human being and you are responsible for you own actions. I also understand that when you have been abused long enough some things are beyond your control. I also know that children of abusers, much like children of alcoholics and drug abusers have a greater percentage of becoming abusive as well. What never ends is the ongoing battle with self esteem. Self doubt is crippling.
I had the best grandparents. I never heard an argument between them that I thought was too out of hand. Believe me I know what those arguments sound like. I remember them riding in the car and holding hands. I remember my grandmother keeping a photo of my grandfather by her bed after he passed away and she talked to it every day. My grandfather used to forget her sometimes when we were traveling or were at horse shows, but I never saw him be ugly to her ever. I am telling this because I have been told that when my grandfather was younger and when they were first married he used to be really hard on my grandmother, drank and was not exactly a great parent. I've asked and none of us grand kids ever saw that kind of behavior. I asked a cousin of mine one time if he thought it was true and his answer was very sobering for me. He said " your mother and my father are both abusive and they had to have learned it from somewhere. Until I heard that, I never considered it to be true. I also had the realization that if he was abusive something made him change and if he changed, became responsible for his behavior then its possible for other people to realize they are abusive as well and they can change too. After all they had an example of it right in front of their faces.
Kids of abusive parents have no friends. The fear of what will happen when you bring them home keeps you from doing it. Or the repercussions of bringing one home your parents don't approve of and the hell to pay and insults that you deal with after they leave. You adapt, kind of living this constant shuck and jive. You dog and your horse are your best friends, you can stay outside or in your bedroom for hours just trying to stay out of range. After a while you when nothing is ever good enough you just give up. You stop trying in school, in sports, you just look for some neutral safe ground.
I would like to think that I've outgrown my child hood. The reality is that while I have made great progress in my life the fact is I have to work on my behavior every day. I have to struggle to not be angry and abusive to certain types of people and my patience level with them sucks. Getting into a verbal argument with me can be brutal. There is no filter and my aggressiveness and meanness ramps up quickly. I know at this age I am totally responsible for my actions. I have no one to blame but myself at this stage in my life.
I did not write this to lash out or to hurt anyone. But to bring to light the fact that verbal abuse still happens and it can be just as damaging to it's victims as any other type of abuse.
This blog is for those who are silent.
Last night after work while walking in Fry's foods. I inadvertently witnessed a mother verbally abusing both her son and another young lady. High school age young people. It was so inhumane that it snapped me into an emotional flashback that frankly completely surprised me and changed the way I will act and react in the future.
As I walked in the door an Angry woman said "where is she?, I will walk back there and find that bitch if she doesn't show up". I kept walking and went and selected a cake. On the way I passed a young lady and two young men walking the other way. I grabbed a cake and headed to the self checkout where I could hear the woman yelling at the kids. They had moved to right outside the exit door. It was after I got off work at 9 so there weren't many customers around and apparently no adult Supervisors on duty at Fry's because nobody had the presence of mind to make her stop. I was doing a pretty good job of ignoring her until I left and as I walked past them on the only way out the door she told the girl "not to speak to her or she would slap the face off her head".
That's when it happened. The flashback, I snapped, I remembered an incident from my youth and I could no longer keep silent. I saw the embarrassment and humiliation in their faces and remember the same situation and feelings. I stopped and basically told the woman to shut the hell up or I was going to call the sheriff and CPS. At which time she took a step toward me and said" Its non of your business and shut the hell up". Wrong move. She may have spent a lifetime of bullying people but that night it wasn't going to work on me. I told her one more step and I would knock her on her ass and then call the sheriff and report her for child abuse. I found myself standing over her telling her something to the effect if she didn't want kids she should have given them to somebody who could appreciate them. She didn't deserve them, She was abusing them and she needed to make some real changes in her life. I didn't back down until she reeled it in and talked to me in a civil voice. She was as angry as any one I have ever seen, but she was smart enough to shut the hell up. As I was getting in the car the young lady walked by on the way to her car and I asked her if she was all right. She said she was, she didn't look it, and she thanked me for caring. I felt angry, embarrassed, exhausted and too many other things to mention.
When I got home I told Brian about the incident and had a good cry. You see. If you hear " you goddamn dumb ass" often enough. You start to believe it after a while. Verbal abuse is just as bad as physical abuse because you hear it and it works on your head. Jesus keeey riist how stupid are you. Each phrase said over time piles on until the weight is like the earth on your shoulders. Brian has heard me get into an argument. I have a very violent and uncivilized vocabulary when it happens and I am not proud of it.
I understand at my age I should be over it. I understand that at some point you become a responsible human being and you are responsible for you own actions. I also understand that when you have been abused long enough some things are beyond your control. I also know that children of abusers, much like children of alcoholics and drug abusers have a greater percentage of becoming abusive as well. What never ends is the ongoing battle with self esteem. Self doubt is crippling.
I had the best grandparents. I never heard an argument between them that I thought was too out of hand. Believe me I know what those arguments sound like. I remember them riding in the car and holding hands. I remember my grandmother keeping a photo of my grandfather by her bed after he passed away and she talked to it every day. My grandfather used to forget her sometimes when we were traveling or were at horse shows, but I never saw him be ugly to her ever. I am telling this because I have been told that when my grandfather was younger and when they were first married he used to be really hard on my grandmother, drank and was not exactly a great parent. I've asked and none of us grand kids ever saw that kind of behavior. I asked a cousin of mine one time if he thought it was true and his answer was very sobering for me. He said " your mother and my father are both abusive and they had to have learned it from somewhere. Until I heard that, I never considered it to be true. I also had the realization that if he was abusive something made him change and if he changed, became responsible for his behavior then its possible for other people to realize they are abusive as well and they can change too. After all they had an example of it right in front of their faces.
Kids of abusive parents have no friends. The fear of what will happen when you bring them home keeps you from doing it. Or the repercussions of bringing one home your parents don't approve of and the hell to pay and insults that you deal with after they leave. You adapt, kind of living this constant shuck and jive. You dog and your horse are your best friends, you can stay outside or in your bedroom for hours just trying to stay out of range. After a while you when nothing is ever good enough you just give up. You stop trying in school, in sports, you just look for some neutral safe ground.
I would like to think that I've outgrown my child hood. The reality is that while I have made great progress in my life the fact is I have to work on my behavior every day. I have to struggle to not be angry and abusive to certain types of people and my patience level with them sucks. Getting into a verbal argument with me can be brutal. There is no filter and my aggressiveness and meanness ramps up quickly. I know at this age I am totally responsible for my actions. I have no one to blame but myself at this stage in my life.
I did not write this to lash out or to hurt anyone. But to bring to light the fact that verbal abuse still happens and it can be just as damaging to it's victims as any other type of abuse.
Wednesday, November 22, 2017
White Oppression
I have stayed out of the Stand up for the Flag discussion until now. I personally would never sit for the playing of the National Anthem and I understand that this is America and people have the right to protest any way in which they see fit. What I find interesting it the reason that athletes and others are doing it. Because of black oppression.
Black oppression. Somebody please tell me how long certain blacks and liberals are going to ride this wave. Take a look at professional sports in America. In the NBA 76%, NFL 66%. We have Black only colleges. We have students in Colleges in California protesting until they could have black only dorms. We have BET, NAACP, Blacks on T.V. on the news and on regular programming average between 69% and 79%. I fail to see how blacks are being oppressed in this country. I have personally been to job interviews with National companies where I was obviously more qualified but black, Mexican and Asian women were hired because they met the demographic where the company could get the most tax benefits.
Today's black oppression is manufactured by the left and the inadequate losers who haven't managed to become successful as human beings. There are plenty of things for the black athletes to protest. Poverty in their communities, crime in the black populated inner cities. The way they are taken advantage of as sports talented youth who are moved on through the system just for their ability to play and to make money for their owners. The lack of emphasis put on their education and their total lack of graduating High School and College as functioning members of society. The fact that black fathers characteristically leave their wives and cheat unmercifully when they do stay.
The three UCLA basketball players who were caught stealing in China is a perfect example of just how far their ignorance goes. They have grown up so entitled because of their talent they are no better than common thugs and when left to their own supervision that is exactly how they acted. Then when Trump engineers their release and they come home. One of the fathers. LaVar Bell spits in Trumps face because he didn't bring them home on Air Force One. Trump should have left the common thugs to rot in prison there.
Right now African refugees are flocking to Libya with promises to be smuggled into Europe. When they get there and the smuggles change the rules and they don't have enough money they sell them into slave labor. The Libyan government knows its going on. Imagine blacks selling other blacks in the year 2017. Where is the outrage from the black community over that. Imagine the shitstorm if Libyan whites were selling blacks. There would be bombings at the U.S. Capital and the U.N would be going batshit. In absolute numbers white people are more likely to be killed by police than are blacks. I don't see any whites taking to the streets to protest police violence and chanting white lives matter.
Statistics show that 3 years after a pro basketball career ends 68% of black athletes file bankruptcy. The numbers are relatively the same for pro football players. Maybe this explains why they do nothing to help their own communities. They are too broke and uneducated. The NBA has put a motion before the NCAA to let retired basketball players go back to college and get their degrees for free if they entered the draft early and never graduated. I think the NBA should pay for it after all they have been exploiting college athletes for decades.
I am sick and tired of the media and the uneducated and ignorant black population and some whites who fall into the uneducated and ignorant category as well with the agenda to blame white people for their own problems. Its time they got off their lazy asses and found a way to make a better life and to make contributions to society.
Black oppression. Somebody please tell me how long certain blacks and liberals are going to ride this wave. Take a look at professional sports in America. In the NBA 76%, NFL 66%. We have Black only colleges. We have students in Colleges in California protesting until they could have black only dorms. We have BET, NAACP, Blacks on T.V. on the news and on regular programming average between 69% and 79%. I fail to see how blacks are being oppressed in this country. I have personally been to job interviews with National companies where I was obviously more qualified but black, Mexican and Asian women were hired because they met the demographic where the company could get the most tax benefits.
Today's black oppression is manufactured by the left and the inadequate losers who haven't managed to become successful as human beings. There are plenty of things for the black athletes to protest. Poverty in their communities, crime in the black populated inner cities. The way they are taken advantage of as sports talented youth who are moved on through the system just for their ability to play and to make money for their owners. The lack of emphasis put on their education and their total lack of graduating High School and College as functioning members of society. The fact that black fathers characteristically leave their wives and cheat unmercifully when they do stay.
The three UCLA basketball players who were caught stealing in China is a perfect example of just how far their ignorance goes. They have grown up so entitled because of their talent they are no better than common thugs and when left to their own supervision that is exactly how they acted. Then when Trump engineers their release and they come home. One of the fathers. LaVar Bell spits in Trumps face because he didn't bring them home on Air Force One. Trump should have left the common thugs to rot in prison there.
Right now African refugees are flocking to Libya with promises to be smuggled into Europe. When they get there and the smuggles change the rules and they don't have enough money they sell them into slave labor. The Libyan government knows its going on. Imagine blacks selling other blacks in the year 2017. Where is the outrage from the black community over that. Imagine the shitstorm if Libyan whites were selling blacks. There would be bombings at the U.S. Capital and the U.N would be going batshit. In absolute numbers white people are more likely to be killed by police than are blacks. I don't see any whites taking to the streets to protest police violence and chanting white lives matter.
Statistics show that 3 years after a pro basketball career ends 68% of black athletes file bankruptcy. The numbers are relatively the same for pro football players. Maybe this explains why they do nothing to help their own communities. They are too broke and uneducated. The NBA has put a motion before the NCAA to let retired basketball players go back to college and get their degrees for free if they entered the draft early and never graduated. I think the NBA should pay for it after all they have been exploiting college athletes for decades.
I am sick and tired of the media and the uneducated and ignorant black population and some whites who fall into the uneducated and ignorant category as well with the agenda to blame white people for their own problems. Its time they got off their lazy asses and found a way to make a better life and to make contributions to society.
Monday, November 6, 2017
Anxiety at a high level
Two weekends ago I got the chance to race with NASA AZ. at Arizona Motorsports Park. I havent gotten to race at AMP and its been at least 3 years since I raced at a NASA event. Circumstances, money, timing, work, you name it have all been contributing factors in my lack of attendance. I have had the chance to race with ProAutoSports a some during those years but not on any type of regular basis. In that time we've had to build a new race car from scratch. Starting with a 2000 base Corvette coup. It is arguably better than the car that it replaced. Not as much power, but much more civilized and much more adjustable.
We had to go through the inspection process all over again. Cage, safety equip, roll bar padding, fire extinguisher, window net etc. Understandable and acceptable but a major pain in the ass. Tage was kind enough to make time for the inspection the Wednesday evening before AMP. Once passed the real anxiety started. Now I was actually able to race. I was going to have to put on my big boy pants and go.
You see, for some reason I am so nervous and anxious when I race with NASA its not funny. I get all stressed out dont sleep, and frankly dont usually drive as well as when I race with other clubs. There really isnt any reason for this it's truly just my own problem. It doesnt make sense because I started racing with NASA. Have been through the whole program HPDE, Time Trial, and Moving up to Race Group. Maybe its because both of my wrecks have occurred during a NASA weekend. Both times took major repairs. Both times were my fault. I've even raced with NASA since my last wreck so there is really no logical explanation for my anxiety. I am not talking average run of the mill anxiety and I talking sick to my stomach, practically cant breath anxiety. I have been to too many horseshows to count and never get this anxious. I thought choosing AMP, a track that I am very comfortable at, and a weekend that wouldnt be very large to jump in again.
Race day arrived and I parked with Chris and Drew and their friends. I was the lone GM product in a veritable herd of Mustangs. The day was damn hot for fall and I managed to sweat completely through my firesuit during race practice. I think a sweaty firesuit just might be more toxic and bad for your health than actually catching fire in one. Qualifying went ok. I wasnt fast but I had set modest goals for myself and qualified better than both of the cars I had targeted. My main goal for the day was to finish and entire race day without any incident. I had one hot dog for lunch. Drank and excessive amount of monster energy drinks and locked the drivers door when I got myself strapped in and started leaving to go to grid. If it hadn't been for Marcos methodically figuring out the issue I am sure I would have just loaded the car and came home. Finally making it to grid I was completely soaked through before we even started our pace laps.
I really enjoy the start of the race. I am usually a really good starter. Good reaction time, leave in the right gear, can usually position myself so I can see the starter from where I start. This time started no different. I was on the inside and I started cheating a little to the right so I could see the starter stand, Marty was ahead of me and as I was sneaking right he was fading that way to stay ahead of me. The Starter held us a long time until we were right up to him before he waved the green flag. I knew he was running out of time so I actually laid off a bit and punched the throttle just before the green flag waved. Timing was good and I was around Marty to the right and alongside of his door as we passed the flag stand. I thought I might have been a little early but when I looked back Chris was right behind me and we were making our way forward heading toward the first turn with our right wheels right up against the edge of the track. What started out to be my shining moment of starting brilliance quickly turned into racing calamity as we approached the first turn and the marbles and debris were so thick in front of me you could actually see the build up. Needless to say getting on the brakes hard enough to make the corner put the anti'locks to the test and I had to turn right across the rumble strips at the edge of the track to keep from collecting cars closing down on the apex of the turn. I looked back and could only see Chris's windshield and I knew I was committed to making the corner some how or there would be carnage. Back on track as the lap resumed I could hear the under tray dragging on the track and I knew I had not gotten off damage free from my over exuberance. Those of you that watch F1 know exactly the start I had. Just imagine the idiot that starts at the back, runs up the inside and then takes out two of the better cars and himself. The only difference is the racing gods were looking out for me and I managed not to create an expensive pile of racing junk. Not only had the off track excursion torn up the under tray but I also managed to puncture a radiator hose and some laps into the race with water spewing out the front of the car and on the windshield I had to quit.
All in all I would have to call the first day back a success. It went well enough that with the help of every body in the group I managed to get the hose repaired and was able to race on Sunday as well. Running AMP counter clockwise for the first time.
I want to take this time to thank Brian for letting me go and race. I hate going without him. I want to thank Drew and Chris and the group for helping me put the car back together and mostly for keeping me calm enough to actually make it on track. And Tage for his patience and going above and beyond to get me inspected and on track. It was great to re connect with old friends and meet some new ones as well. I look forward to more NASA AZ weekends next year in my quest to make it to Nationals at COTA in Austin TX. Hopefully the longer we run this car the more we will learn about it and the fewer things I will break. I am getting tired of laying under the front of it fabricating new undertrays.
We had to go through the inspection process all over again. Cage, safety equip, roll bar padding, fire extinguisher, window net etc. Understandable and acceptable but a major pain in the ass. Tage was kind enough to make time for the inspection the Wednesday evening before AMP. Once passed the real anxiety started. Now I was actually able to race. I was going to have to put on my big boy pants and go.
You see, for some reason I am so nervous and anxious when I race with NASA its not funny. I get all stressed out dont sleep, and frankly dont usually drive as well as when I race with other clubs. There really isnt any reason for this it's truly just my own problem. It doesnt make sense because I started racing with NASA. Have been through the whole program HPDE, Time Trial, and Moving up to Race Group. Maybe its because both of my wrecks have occurred during a NASA weekend. Both times took major repairs. Both times were my fault. I've even raced with NASA since my last wreck so there is really no logical explanation for my anxiety. I am not talking average run of the mill anxiety and I talking sick to my stomach, practically cant breath anxiety. I have been to too many horseshows to count and never get this anxious. I thought choosing AMP, a track that I am very comfortable at, and a weekend that wouldnt be very large to jump in again.
Race day arrived and I parked with Chris and Drew and their friends. I was the lone GM product in a veritable herd of Mustangs. The day was damn hot for fall and I managed to sweat completely through my firesuit during race practice. I think a sweaty firesuit just might be more toxic and bad for your health than actually catching fire in one. Qualifying went ok. I wasnt fast but I had set modest goals for myself and qualified better than both of the cars I had targeted. My main goal for the day was to finish and entire race day without any incident. I had one hot dog for lunch. Drank and excessive amount of monster energy drinks and locked the drivers door when I got myself strapped in and started leaving to go to grid. If it hadn't been for Marcos methodically figuring out the issue I am sure I would have just loaded the car and came home. Finally making it to grid I was completely soaked through before we even started our pace laps.
I really enjoy the start of the race. I am usually a really good starter. Good reaction time, leave in the right gear, can usually position myself so I can see the starter from where I start. This time started no different. I was on the inside and I started cheating a little to the right so I could see the starter stand, Marty was ahead of me and as I was sneaking right he was fading that way to stay ahead of me. The Starter held us a long time until we were right up to him before he waved the green flag. I knew he was running out of time so I actually laid off a bit and punched the throttle just before the green flag waved. Timing was good and I was around Marty to the right and alongside of his door as we passed the flag stand. I thought I might have been a little early but when I looked back Chris was right behind me and we were making our way forward heading toward the first turn with our right wheels right up against the edge of the track. What started out to be my shining moment of starting brilliance quickly turned into racing calamity as we approached the first turn and the marbles and debris were so thick in front of me you could actually see the build up. Needless to say getting on the brakes hard enough to make the corner put the anti'locks to the test and I had to turn right across the rumble strips at the edge of the track to keep from collecting cars closing down on the apex of the turn. I looked back and could only see Chris's windshield and I knew I was committed to making the corner some how or there would be carnage. Back on track as the lap resumed I could hear the under tray dragging on the track and I knew I had not gotten off damage free from my over exuberance. Those of you that watch F1 know exactly the start I had. Just imagine the idiot that starts at the back, runs up the inside and then takes out two of the better cars and himself. The only difference is the racing gods were looking out for me and I managed not to create an expensive pile of racing junk. Not only had the off track excursion torn up the under tray but I also managed to puncture a radiator hose and some laps into the race with water spewing out the front of the car and on the windshield I had to quit.
All in all I would have to call the first day back a success. It went well enough that with the help of every body in the group I managed to get the hose repaired and was able to race on Sunday as well. Running AMP counter clockwise for the first time.
I want to take this time to thank Brian for letting me go and race. I hate going without him. I want to thank Drew and Chris and the group for helping me put the car back together and mostly for keeping me calm enough to actually make it on track. And Tage for his patience and going above and beyond to get me inspected and on track. It was great to re connect with old friends and meet some new ones as well. I look forward to more NASA AZ weekends next year in my quest to make it to Nationals at COTA in Austin TX. Hopefully the longer we run this car the more we will learn about it and the fewer things I will break. I am getting tired of laying under the front of it fabricating new undertrays.
Monday, October 23, 2017
The Grand Lady has taken her leave.
You never know how chance meetings can change your life. I had to attend the funeral of a friend this week. More than a friend actually. I cannot find the words to describe how much she meant to me. I met her at a horse show some thirty odd years ago and started giving her daughter riding lessons. Our friendship grew from there. We have gotten to share many things over the years. She has been there for me through good and bad relationships, moving to California, then Phoenix. We have both lost the ones we love. She took me into her family and I found myself with an huge extended family. Another grandmother, older brother and sister and aunts and uncles. I've stayed with them during horse shows. Been there to celebrate holidays, and she has come to horse shows with me. We've been to Sequoia and Yosemite National Parks. Up the CA coast to San Francisco and spent the day at the Wharf. We've even camped on the beach at Pismo dunes and sat up by the campfire all night watching the waves and enjoying each others company. She loved my partner Mark. They were fast crazy friends from the start.
I have the best memories of the times we spent together. Thankfully there are a lot of them. Watching her show her driving horse Fancy at the Pinto Nationals.The times she and Brenda came to the house to stay and ride. Sharing a nice cigar with our friend Doris while sitting in the barn aisle with upside down buckets for chairs at Tulsa. Flying into Fresno and going to Temecula CA for a horse show over mothers day. Dinners with Megan and Stephanie and Sue. A flood of memories bring a flood of tears. She never demanded anything of me. Just expected me to do my best. She loved to watch her daughter Brenda show. Those were her proudest moments. I started calling her mom years ago and she called me her son. She was tough as nails. Never complained much. Battled RA, had a heart attack, battled throat cancer, and eventually lost her battle with Cancer. Always hanging in there strong, complaining very little. I on the other hand would call her whenever I needed to vent, cry, or needed her to pick me up and tell me everything would be alright and that she loved me. At a time like this I would call her and cry and she would make me feel better.
This summer she spent with her daughter and son in law and her grandsons. She was very happy when I talked to her last. She got to do her life her way. The Grand Lady has taken her leave.
I have the best memories of the times we spent together. Thankfully there are a lot of them. Watching her show her driving horse Fancy at the Pinto Nationals.The times she and Brenda came to the house to stay and ride. Sharing a nice cigar with our friend Doris while sitting in the barn aisle with upside down buckets for chairs at Tulsa. Flying into Fresno and going to Temecula CA for a horse show over mothers day. Dinners with Megan and Stephanie and Sue. A flood of memories bring a flood of tears. She never demanded anything of me. Just expected me to do my best. She loved to watch her daughter Brenda show. Those were her proudest moments. I started calling her mom years ago and she called me her son. She was tough as nails. Never complained much. Battled RA, had a heart attack, battled throat cancer, and eventually lost her battle with Cancer. Always hanging in there strong, complaining very little. I on the other hand would call her whenever I needed to vent, cry, or needed her to pick me up and tell me everything would be alright and that she loved me. At a time like this I would call her and cry and she would make me feel better.
This summer she spent with her daughter and son in law and her grandsons. She was very happy when I talked to her last. She got to do her life her way. The Grand Lady has taken her leave.
Tuesday, September 26, 2017
I finally get it.
For years I have been on the fence about gay marriage. Even right up until I said "I do" I didn't fully understand the fight. It wasn't needed, there are enough legal documents out there to handle all the medical rights, inheritance, property, pretty much everything but pensions could be documented and signed to provide equality.
When Brian and I decided to get married, we talked about who we were going to invite. We decided pretty much anybody could come but we sat down and invited a group of our friends. When we looked at the list one thing struck both of us. There were very few single people, and all but two of them were in relationships. All our friends are married. We also had a very diverse group, Gay, Straight, Black, White, Hispanic, Republican and Democrat, Catholic to atheist, old and young.
Being a Republican for years I've listened to the parties defense of marriage act, marriage is between a man and a woman, god is against gay marriage. I thought who cares, I wont ever get married, and if I do its just a ceremony for us and our friends to go along with the legal documents we signed.
I didn't know how much I would be affected until I said those two little words. Before the ceremony I thanked everyone for coming, gave them an idea of how the evening would go. Told them about dinner and expressed how happy and privileged I was that they all came.
One of our friends performed the ceremony and did and awesome job. Tailored just to us and as normal as any wedding I've been to.
Back to the those two little words. The joy I felt when we stood together and said our vows and
"I do" is indescribable. Like nothing I have ever felt before. The love, pride, and joy is unbelievable. I finally understand what all the fuss has been about.
You cant tell me that God does not want all his people to feel that. No matter what their sexual orientation.
When Brian and I decided to get married, we talked about who we were going to invite. We decided pretty much anybody could come but we sat down and invited a group of our friends. When we looked at the list one thing struck both of us. There were very few single people, and all but two of them were in relationships. All our friends are married. We also had a very diverse group, Gay, Straight, Black, White, Hispanic, Republican and Democrat, Catholic to atheist, old and young.
Being a Republican for years I've listened to the parties defense of marriage act, marriage is between a man and a woman, god is against gay marriage. I thought who cares, I wont ever get married, and if I do its just a ceremony for us and our friends to go along with the legal documents we signed.
I didn't know how much I would be affected until I said those two little words. Before the ceremony I thanked everyone for coming, gave them an idea of how the evening would go. Told them about dinner and expressed how happy and privileged I was that they all came.
One of our friends performed the ceremony and did and awesome job. Tailored just to us and as normal as any wedding I've been to.
Back to the those two little words. The joy I felt when we stood together and said our vows and
"I do" is indescribable. Like nothing I have ever felt before. The love, pride, and joy is unbelievable. I finally understand what all the fuss has been about.
You cant tell me that God does not want all his people to feel that. No matter what their sexual orientation.
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