The Hannibal.

     I bought The Hannibal while at a horse show in Medford Oregon when he was 8 weeks old.  This young girl was carrying him around and I asked her if he was for sale.  She said yes.  I said how much, $750.00, I went to the local Wells Fargo and got the cash.  I have always wanted a black Tri color Corgi and he was just about the handsomest one I had ever seen.  He had too much white on one ear and that made him different enough that I liked him even more.  I had no idea just how different he would turn out to be. 

     He was quiet and kind of aloof but seemed not to concerned that he had a new person.  The breeder said they showed horses as well and they would be at the show all week if I had any questions.  His original name was going to be Gunner.  I already had a Shooter and I thought Gunner would be fitting name for his brother.  A few hours into this new partnership the Hannibal went through a dramatic personality change.  He was unquestionably an Alpha male.  He would throw a tantrum if he didnt get what he wanted or get to do what he wanted to do, and he literally tried to bite anyone who tried to pick him up.  On the way back to the motel he actually bit a hole in my nose when I leaned over to put my face up to his.  That was just the beginning of our battle for supremacy.  In the motel room I put him on the bed and he jumped off.  I put him back on and he jumped off.  Keep in mind every time I picked him up he would bite me and get in trouble for it.  Eventually he got angry enough when I put him back on the bed he ran to one of the pillowcases and literally attacked it trying to tear it apart.  I picked him up said no and swatted his butt.  He jumped off the bed ran into the bathroom grabbed the trash bag hanging over the edge of the trashcan and pulled it over and tried to shred it.  I spanked him again and he spent the rest of the night laying between the toilet and the wall. 

      Needless to say the next day I started a search for the breeder which turned out to be fruitless as they were no where to be found.  They were not entered in the horse show and they were not answering their phone.  I was stuck with the little shit.  He was so bad at biting that Kellie Hinley suggested naming him Hannibal.  Somebody else said to hold him upside down until he submitted to it and he would get over his aggression.  I tried several times while at the stall and every time I went to hold him on his back and rub his belly he would scream and growl and howl like holy hell and I would eventually give up.  I ended up taking him to the horse trailer and holding him that way for over 20 minutes until he finally pissed all over both of us and stopped struggling.  He may have gotten over me holding him that way, he may have stopped biting and growling about it, but he never liked it for the rest of his life. 

     I was on a 6 week horse show trip so he went from Medford Oregon to Watsonville CA, to Temecula CA, back to Watsonville CA and then home to Phoenix.  He turned out to be very brilliant and dramatic.  He would panic and get hysterical if his water bowl was empty.  He stayed that way until the end.  He continued to bite everyone, and if he wanted in the tack room and the door was closed he would paw and bite and pull on it trying to get it open.  Until the end if you closed a door and he wanted through it he would bite and attack the door.  He traveled with me everywhere.  Biting people until he got tired of me spanking him for it.  The only person he continued to bite and growl at was Dave.  He never liked Dave.  Bit him and ignored him and tried to keep me away from him until that ended.  It was a battle of will until one day when he was about 8 months old.  I had several people suggest that I should put him down but by then he was just biting me and it became a challenge that I couldnt back down from.  I thought if I loved him enough that he would give in.  Eventually he did.  He went everywhere I did.  The barn, the store, the horse show, the race track, even riding shotgun with me sometimes.  He had done enough laps at Inde Motorsports Ranch that when I would get on the brakes at the end of the main straight he would lean to the left into the seat for balance even before we made the corner.

     He has ridden with me in the buggy, gotten cold and would sleep with me under the covers in the living quarters trailer, and he love to play fetch and to swim.  If I was in the pool, the Hannibal was in the pool.  He would even swim by himself.  When I was sick he was right on the bed by my side.  As time went on there was never any question how much I loved him and that I was his person.  He loved going to the track and to go camping.  If I hooked up the diesel to the toyhauler he would follow me until we loaded to leave, unless he had to stay home then he would piss on the floor.  He hated staying in the toyhauler at the track, he wanted to be outside.  I didnt understand what the big deal was until I was working the grid one day and I could watch him at the trailer.  Gene Greenley, made a point to stop and love on him.  Adrian Little, Pete Creek, it seemed he had his own little fan club.  Those that didnt know him often asked why I called him The Hannibal.  Its because he was The Hannibal.  He was like his own entity.  Everything he did was in overdrive. 

    I didnt love the Hannibal more on purpose.  He just kind of demanded it.  He was proud and stoic and Brave and tough and demanded that you put him first, and he put me first as well.  I never questioned which dog I belonged to.  I have had dogs my whole life.  I never imagined I would love one so much more than the others.  The Hannibal was going to be 11 in April.  He had ACL surgery a little over a year ago and was doing fine until he wasnt.  I had to make the choice that responsible pet owners have to make sometimes.  It is our duty to see they never have to suffer. 

     Being the Hannibal's person was one of the greatest gifts of my life.  I wish everyone could know the love that I felt for him.  I am grateful for the companionship and the love that he gave to me.  I truly hope there is such a thing as the Rainbow Bridge because being together with the Hannibal again will be one of the biggest joys in my life.  Until then I have his memories, and pictures to keep him alive in my heart. 

    I need to thank Chris and Cara Wynn for answering the call and holding my hand during an impossible situation.  VetMed emergency hospital for having more care, respect and compassion than I thought was possible. And Brian for keeping me sane and being my rock.  There would be no tomorrow without him. 

Why the Wall

Someone replied to my comment on building the wall, "what do you think its going to do, people are going to see it and say well I cant get in and go home".

I realize that person, like most others today have no idea what the wall stands for. The wall is so much more that just border security. It stands as a deterrent before people leave their country and try to come to America illegally. It says, living in America is a privilege, and a right to those who follow our law's, it says security to our citizens. It says we are serious about preserving our Democracy, our way of life, the right to vote, and we take our constitution seriously and will fight to preserve it. It tells those that immigrated here legally that they fought so hard for a reason, that America is serious about fulfilling her promise of allowing them the chance to build a better life than where they came from. The wall stands as a symbol to those who's relatives have been robbed, raped, and killed that America is serious about her security and their loved ones did not die in vain. Lastly it says that those millions who voted for Trump, and voted for that wall, have an opinion that counts. That one group of society gets to arbitrarily impose their will over others. The wall is so much than just a wall and if you can't see that clearly than our education system, our elected officials, and our parents failed to do their jobs.

A Simply Great Man

I first met Carl years ago while I still lived in Nebraska and Leon Olsen introduced me to  him and another great man John Hoyt.  We didn't become friends but when I would see him again at big shows he would always say "hi" and ask how things were going.  Some time later when I landed in Oklahoma and was training horses on my own I again ran into Carl at one of the shows in Duncan.  I had lived there all of three weeks and didn't know hardly anybody else.  At the end of the day I wandered to one of Duncan's finer motels and there was John and Carl sitting on the 2nd floor balcony drinking beer.  The air conditioning wasn't working and there weren't any more rooms and they were outside trying to keep cool.  Carl invited me up for a beer and we sat and talked until the sun went down.  It was probably the first time that I ever felt like I "belonged" being a horse trainer. 

Years went by and I would see Carl and then Karen at shows and we became horse show friends.  I was always showing too many horses and doing too many events and from time to time I would volunteer to show in the cow horse to make the numbers work.  Slowly while showing Carl would give me pointers and I learned to show a cow horse and later reiners without being embarrassed.  From time to time if I had a good one Carl would be kind or professional enough to tell me so.  No matter what event I was showing in. 

Many years and moves and horses later I was showing in Paso Robles to Karen and when the driving class was over she said my husband would love that tie.  I frequently wore a very colorful tie that Kathy Pettit had given me of the cartoon Tasmanian devil shredding a bunch of balloons.  It was one of my favorite ties.  At the end of the day, when the show was over I gave that tie to Karen to give to Carl.  Sometimes especially in the horse business its fun to pass the fun things along.  Knowing Carl how I did, I could see him liking that tie.  Two years later while showing in Bakersfield CA I saw Carl walk in to the arena to judge wearing that tie.  It made me smile.  For me some things bring back great memories and that was one of them.  I wore that tie, and another colorful tie exclusively the year I showed The Wild West Show to the High Point Driving title.  Interestingly at a show earlier in the year another judge, Alan Mitchell's had criticized the very tie I gave Carl for being inappropriate. 

Since I've stopped training I've only seen Carl one other time at the world show.  I had been waiting in line for about an hour at the check station leading to the main drive to load up and go home.  The line of trucks and trailers was around the corner and down the drive towards the street.  In typical Carl fashion he took control of the situation, closed the cattle panels and let us all down the drive to load up to go home. 

Rarely do you get to go through life and have the privilege to say that you knew someone who always treated you as and equal, with respect and as a friend.  The horse industry, humanity and mainly Karen have lost a simply great man. That hollow feeling inside is going to last a long time. 

An Open Letter.

An Open letter to anyone who has the guts to print it

The day after Christmas the most tragic example of how out immigration policy, and our government is a glaring failure.

On December 26th Newman California Corporal   Ronil Singh, was on duty  working in Stanislaus County CA.  While conducting a routine suspicion of drunk driving stop.  He was allegedly shot and killed by  Gustavo Perez Arriaga.  An Illegal immigrant who was living in the Sanctuary state of California.  Arriaga has previous DUI arrests, 

Ironically what makes this such a glaring example of Immigration policy failure.  Deputy Ronil Singh was also an immigrant.  He came here legally, did the work, studied citizenship and English language passed the tests, paid the fees and became a naturalized citizen.  His life long dream was to be a police officer  He is survived by a his wife and 5 month old son.  

Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Shumer, and every single person who believes in open borders owes this young mother an apology.  They need to explain to this woman, just exactly why this man was allowed, and protected under California's sanctuary immigration laws was allowed to stay here.  

Since I became of legal voting age in 1982, we have been promised by every single presidential candidate that they would fix our broken immigration system.  A wall isn't going to fix it.  Just giving dreamers citizenship isn't going to fix it.  Relaxing the laws and giving every one who comes here political Asylum is not going to fix our immigration system.  

Our government has failed.  They failed Ronil Singh, and they have failed everyone citizen who immigrated here legally, and they have fail the rest of the American public as well.  

Its time that we held our elected official accountable for their lack of action on this issue.  Its time we held them accountable for their lack of action for the last two years.  The very people who have been elected to run this country have let us down.  We need to write our Congress and Senate, We need to write our local news papers, We need to write our local news stations, we need to march in the streets until our elected officials get back to work doing the jobs we elected them to do.  

Everyday Is Christmas for me.

I used to hate Christmas.  I have since I was a kid.  I can count on one hand how many were ever a good time.  My only good memories all revolve around spending the holiday with my grandparents.  My Grandfather would dress up like Santa Claus and deliver presents and hang around with all of us for a while.  I was an all in believer in Santa Claus until I was told to go and get groceries out of the car one time and I Opened the truck and there were as all the presents from Santa Claus.  I secretly suspect that my mother did that on purpose.  Why else put the groceries in the trunk and then hand your kid the key and tell him to go and get them.  We lived in Northern Indiana at the time and it was snowy and cold as hell.  It could have been an honest mistake, but that's  highly unlikely.  When we would get together with our Grandparents the cousins would all be there and the Aunts and Uncles and I liked those Christmas's the best.  

As Ive gotten older I've come to realize that a for me, Christmas has nothing to do with presents.  For many years when I trained horses the holiday was spent on the road.  Hauling horses to some show circuit trying to finish out the year end points race. Usually alone.  I don't miss that one bit.  

At this point in my life everyday is like Christmas for me.  I've had a pretty good life.  In spite of trying to screw it up most of the time. I really have enjoyed most of it.  I fell extremely fortunate to have been born in America.  For all its faults, no matter what you hear on the news.  The rest of the world wants to be us.  I am healthy.  Sure right now I am struggling with my back, but I've been through that before and basically I'm a tough bastard and I will trudge along until I get it fixed this time as well.  I have a great dad and sister that love me I don't get to see them enough, but they too are healthy and getting along well.  Over the years I have collected a group of friends that without question I am fortunate to have.  Some of them I don't see often enough, but I always feel their connection and love.  I've been privileged to made a living what I loved to do.  While I trained horses I loved it.  I had good stock, good customers and it allowed me to show all over the United States and see the country that we live in.  There is diversity and beauty everywhere here.  Ive been lucky enough to have the loyalty and love of many good dogs.  At one point I traveled by myself with 4 or 5 of them.  It was like a never ending circus of canine entertainment and love.  Living in America has allowed me to have hobbies that I never thought I would and I need to remind myself not to take for granted.  Camping, Traveling, a stint trying to fly R/C planes, FAILURE, Snowmobiles, fishing, and now sports car racing, as well as owning a large and fantastic group of cars along the way.  

Most of all, I now have  married into an extended family that brings joy to my heart everyday, and a husband that literally fills my heart with love. When my nephew was married my dad stood up before everyone and gave a little speech on how special marriage was.  It was totally unlike him to do something like that, but you could tell without a doubt how he felt about my mother and how serious the institution of marriage was for him. Until I was married, I had no idea what he was talking about.

 Waking up to Brian's smiling  eyes every morning is like being born again.  If I was able to, my gift to the world would be for everyone to get to experience the same thing.  So today when we sit down to dinner and I look across the table at the man I love I will know that I have everything in life that is important.  So Everyday is Christmas for me.  

Merry Christmas everyone!!!

The Gentleman racer.

When I first started racing.  almost a whole ten years ago.  I was lucky to become track friends with an accomplished racer.  Sadly we lost him a few years ago, and  like many things you don't realize how someone has affected your life, or how much influence they had until they are no longer around.  This friend had great cars and great skill, and always took the time after a race to stop by my trailer and spend 15 minutes of his time discussing how my race went.  He almost always was in the top two cars and would usually put a lap on me during the race.  Initially when he would come to talk I would be horrified that he might be coming by to tell me how I had screwed up.  Which may have been the case, but he never made it seem like that.  It was always about passing, or using the accelerator pedal or when and how much to brake.  Always a positive 15 minutes or so about race craft.  I hope some how he knows just how much those talks meant to me and how much I think back on them now. 

We are all just Amateur racing enthusiasts at our level.  Driving many types of cars that we are passionate about.  Various income levels and racing budgets and skill levels.  Competitive to a fault sometimes.  Passionate and Emotional sometimes, always wanting to be the best.  I actually had some skills when I started.  I was fast, and usually made the right moves at the right time.  Over the last few years, time, budget, and life has taken its toll and I have lost my edge.  I still loved to race, but had lost the direction that I needed to be good at it. A year ago at the ProAutoSports Thanksgiving weekend.  We were building a new car, going through some teething pains and not getting along so well.   A fellow racer and good friend came up to me after the qualifying race and said he needed me to bring the car by for him to look at because he knew I was not that bad a racer and I was making moves that weren't good.  A not so subtle, much needed reminder to get my shit together.  It was a reminder of how this sport should be and was meant to be.  Road racing at the amateur level is not NASCAR.  There are no sponsors or T.V. contracts. Just a bunch of local car nuts paying the bill to race whatever make and model car they are passionate about.  It was a reminder to me, to keep your car in good working order.  You're not the only one that is out there competing and if your car breaks at the wrong time there are consequences.  It was a reminder that this is a small community and you dont want to be that guy that the rest of the racer mother fuck because your on track behavior is one sided and reckless.  It was a reminder that we are all responsible for racing with integrity and honesty, we class our cars, we have an opportunity during every race to act responsibly and be an example of how good amateur racing should be.  Don't get me wrong, he is the fiercest competitor there is as we all should be, but it was a reminder to me of what acceptable track behavior is. 

I would like to think that I have spent the last year re-learning most of those traits and becoming the gentleman racer I should be and that the sport deserves.  Maintain your car because your safety and the safety of people you call your friends depends on it.  Nobody wants to be that guy what causes a wreck and ruins it for everybody else.  If you do, be humble and accept the responsibility.  If you re on the front row at the start remember that everybody behind you is relying on you to be smart and play fair.  Jumping the start is cheating.  You may get away with it, but there are subtle ways and not so subtle ways you can be brought to see the error of your ways.  Most of all be a smart racer.  We are racing for a club trophy.  Your tires cost more.  We are out there to win, but we are also out there to hone our craft and become the best we can be. 

I LOVE THIS SPORT,  more than I ever thought I would.  I love the cars I love the people, I love the camaraderie and the competition but most of all I love learning how to race and be a better racer. 

Oh and that gentleman who called me out a year ago, has most definitely evolved in the Gentleman racer that we all look up to and will lead us into the future for a time as an example of where the bar is. 

My Obsession with this election

     Much to Brian's consternation I have become obsessed with this years mid term election.
Basically because of all the elections that I have been privileged to have voted in, I think this one is the most important.  We have a divided country here.  Divided by individuals who have vastly points of view.  This did not happen overnight.  It has been a long slow process of indoctrination for some members of society.   For the first time during this election I feel like our way of life is being threatened.  The very fabric of what makes America great is going away.  Down an un sustainable path.

    On the one side, there are factions of the population who basically live irresponsibly and prefer to make the government pay for their mistakes.  The believe in open borders, but not open doors. They want free health care to pay for their poor life choices.  They want free meds to combat their various conditions.  They have no clue how to raise a child and they want free day care, and free higher education.  They have no dreams or sense of real commitment.  They feel they are entitled to live the benefits of other peoples struggles.  Their lives revolve around mid level employment, that have few hobbies beyond parties and travelling overseas, and frankly for all the complaining about charity and humanity basically they have none. They believe that you can erase history from the country and the history books and hide the discretions of the past and all will be right.  God forbid you disagree with their beliefs because if you are different than their status quo then you are labelled a racist, bigot, facist, to list just a few of the nicer things.  Some of the farther ones to the left even make death threats on your Facebook page.  I just chalked that up to a drunken  rage reaction to failing mental health do to a body destroyed by years of alcoholism and meds.  Those same people who scream we need open borders and like to travel to Europe where immigration laws are far stricter than ours citing how progressive Europe is, are completely blind to the cost of living there and the compete lack of civil freedoms. Sure our families immigrated here, but they came to build an country and not work and send money home.

    On the other side is me.  I believe in the chance for a good education, a good job and a good life.  I dont want the government or big insurance companies making medical decisions for me.  I believe in manufacturing products here at home.  I believe the higher education system is a colossal failure.  Not everyone who graduates can be in a white collar job.  We used to be a nation of builders and not just a nation of consumers.  I believe that our history should be preserved and studied and used as an example of how not to make the same mistakes again.  I refuse to let my income and my taxes go to pay for other people irresponsible lifestyle.  I fear that higher taxes fueled by more and more social programs will decrease my income so I will no longer be able to enjoy the life that I have worked so hard to attain in the first place.  You see my summer doesnt revolve around going to one pool party after another.  I rarely socialize at bars and while I may not have enough friends to fill a basketball court, the ones I do have I have had for a long time and they are strong solid friendships.  I dont socialize with individuals who believe their opinion is the only one who counts and I should follow their beliefs.  I believe in honoring our country, our constitution, and our flag.  I believe fiercely in the 1st amendment and the right to free speech.  I fear and dislike hate speech as much as anybody else but I believe in ones right to say what he believes.  I think it is your parents responsibility to raise you as a confident enough member of society to recognize not to believe hate speech.

    The arguments by the left in this country and unilateral.  If you dont conform then you do not deserve to be here.  True ignorance and bigotry at its best.  I am voting early and encouraging all those conservatives to get out there and vote this time.  Vote as if your way of life depends on it because this time it does.  If we follow along the with the vision that the left has created we will become a third world country in no time.