I want to end with a life well lived. What about you?....

 I've had a life.   As time goes by I realize how lucky I have been.  Mainly because my childhood influences instilled in me the respect for hard work and the good things that come from it.  I had two great influences in my life. 

 My Dad, and my Grandfather.  

From my Grandfather my love of horses which took me far further than I ever imagined that it would.  Most of my adult life has been shaped by the relationships and the results of the hard work I put into the horse industry.  Most of my friends, the places Ive seen, the good times Ive had have come because of the horse industry.  Training horses showed me to never give up.  How much hard work and dedication pays off, and how to compete for what you want in life.  The old saying "to the victor go the spoils" is very appropriate here.  The Horse industry is failing right now.  Numbers are down.  Quality is sketchy in both horses and trainers to build the great ones, and our youth and amateur divisions are suffereing from lack of support at the grass roots level.  Not to mention the continued assault from the ignorance of animal rights groups and activists.  The way I see it, the path to saving the horse industry is in the education of the young.  Supporting the local horse clubs, state associations, and the 4-H and FFA programs.  Whatever money is being spend at this level is tragically not enough.  Ive seen the direct benefits of those programs in the lives of the youth that I have had the privilege to come in contact with.  Children are hungry for life at a young age, they are eager to learn and experience new things every day.  When guided by parents who are involved,  Schools, FFA, 4 H volunteer leaders and Industry professionals who take the time to Judge local horse shows and county fairs, put on seminars at the grass roots level, the kids absorb information like sponges.  It builds their character, teaches them how to win and lose, how to be responsible young adults that can grow up to be responsible productive Adults.  There are semi retired horse trainers and judges and industry executives all across this country that could volunteer time to steer young people and the horse industry in the right direction.  They have valueable life experience and equine knowledge to share.  

Which Brings me to My Dad,  My Dad never does anything half way.  He graduated from trade school as a machinest.  He has a wealth of knowlege from life and work experience that you dont find in your average individual.  I remember him working two jobs when I was a kid.  2nd shift  from 3 pm until midnight, then he would take on side work fixing electic hair dryers and such during the day and watching my sister and I.  I remember him buying snowmobiles in the summer that did not run and then repair what ever they needed and sell them.  Not to mention the basic automotive knowlege that he taught me while working on his own projects.  Rebuilding an old Willys Pickup, swapping in a chevy 6 cylinder, rebuilding bearings and drive shafts and changing axels.  We built pole barns and baled hay and built fence.  If my car broke down I had a repair manual and the tools and parts I needed and his guidance to help me when I needed it.  Which was more often that not and it was always obvious when I had gone rogue and screwed something up when I had gotten ahead of myself.  The money that I have saved working on cars throughout my life has probably kept me alive at some point.  

Probably the three most important things in life that I learned from Dad  have literally gotten me out of bed some days when I had no other choice.  One, you can have anything you want in life if you will work for it.  You hold that right in your hands from day one.  Two, never be afraid to try something new, If you want to build a barn, build a barn, learn how, there is no crime in hard work and some sweat and a little dirt, and three  Dont be a quitter, get up every day and do your job, The biggest reward you can have is knowing that you didnt quit and your reached your goals.  You'll never reach them if you dont try.  

Obviously I have some time on my hands waiting for my medical adventure to work its way out.  I'm also feeling very mortal at this date and time.  Most of the good horses that I have been lucky enough to enjoy are now running in greener pastures.  I've outlived all my dogs to this point, and every one steals my heart more than the last.  I have good friends who are no  longer with us and a great number of the influences from my childhood are now gone.  Getting old is a sobering experince if you are lucky enough to get there.  I just want to enjoy the time, friends, this country, and most of all my time with Brian until I get to the end.  Which I am going to gut out for another 20 years.  I'm not done pissing people off yet.  

Who Does Pride Month Celebrate

      I was asked recently by one of my friends how Brian and I celebrated pride month and how it became a month celebration when other important historic event celebrations were only honored by a day.  I wasnt going to comment on this but I came to the conclusion that with current state of affairs in the U.S. I would go ahead and state my opinion.

I dont have the foggiest idea how or who decided to celebrate Pride for an entire month.  Frankly I am too busy to even give it consideration.

  As to the question of how I celebrate Pride, the answer is I dont.  I grew up in a conservative household, I was slow to admit my homosexuality, not coming out of the closet until my late 20's though I am sure by then many of my friends had figured it out.  I remember sitting on a bench outside a gay bar in Kentucky when a bunch of rednecks drove by with shotguns and shot into the front of the bar.  Nobody wanted to call the police because they didnt want to call undue attention to the bar. I disagreed because I thought they were caving in to the opposition. My how things have changed. Today the media and the gay community and the far left dictate daily how others are to perceive and think about gays.  You never see a conservative masculine gay character on t.v.  The media has decided that all gays should be campy drag queens, living from one punchline to another and screaming gurl at each other like its some sort of stamp of approval.  That shits not for me.  Dont act that way, dont share my time with those individuals.   I never understood what it meant to be married until the moment when I said I do.  That is a personal relationship between my husband and I and frankly I dont need any Religion, Federal, or State law to make it legal.  When I was in my thirties the gay community was entirely different than what it has become today.  There may have been differences in preferences but we were all part of a group.  Today's gay community has become segmented into many different groups.  There is no longer a place for Adult, conservative, professional main stream gay men.  If you dont support transgender, which has nothing to do with Homosexuality, if you dont support the drag community or the leather community or feminine men, you become ostrasized.  I have never preferred any type of feminine behavior.  I like masculinity, I dont understand being gay and preferring female behavior.  Hell most of my women friends are as masculine as men most of the time.  The gay community labels my preference as "fake Masculinity"   Piss on them.  Marching half naked down the street wearing make up or painted up like some parrot, or wearing assless chaps and leather around my chest does not interest me nor does it represent who I am as a person.  Being gay is not an agenda for me.  I dont live my life going from one gay event to another, going to gay bars nightly or only supporting gay businesses.  I live my life as an individual, with my partner, with zero consideration of what others think of my "preferences".   I get up every day knowing that I am accepted by the people who I have surrounded myself with.  There are only two people in this world that I have to live up to.  Myself and My Husband.  

As to the argument of the legality of gay marriage or the far religious rights objection to same sex marriage, religion freedom is a right in America, EVERYONE has the right to worship in the way they see fit.  Those that say God will judge and God is against same sex marriage I have only one statement.  You preach that God is a loving and accepting, forgiving being.  The pure JOY that I felt when I married Brian in the presence of our friends and family cannot just be reserved for gods heterosexual followers.  A loving God wants everyone of his "children" to feel that joy.  Period.  

The Souls that influence our lives.

      I believe there are souls that enter our lives for various reasons when we need them shape the people we are.  My friend Diane Shannon was one such soul.  When I was in high school I was lucky enough to join her 4 H club.  She was an educated imposing human with a big personality, full bodied booming laugh and salty vocabulary.   She was the first adult who treated us like equals,  Tough and Demanding but never demanding anything from us that she could not do herself.  I hated being a kid, hated my childhood literally almost everything about it.  Our weekly club riding practices literally kept me sane, or my version.  She handled our practices much like a drill sergeant would elevating our riding and training skills far beyond those of other Clubs.  

    As I said she was the reason for my sanity.  Diane's knowledge of horses and training supplied me with the background and the foundation for what ended up being 35 years of a horse training career.  Later in my 20's I ran into Diane at the NRHA futurity in OKC and we went to dinner with some of my customers at what used to be Texanna Reds.  She regaled them with tales of my youth and growing up and once again provided me with some much needed self esteem and sanity at the time.  

    I was fortunate enough a few years back to get the opportunity to tell her how much she meant to me.  How much she shaped my personal and professional lives and how much I owed her for my success.  I am going to spend some time tonight reflecting on our conversations, her big infectious laugh and just how much she influenced so many of us.  

Fierce and Funny

 The World lost a little known ray of sunshine this week.  Reta was a horse customer of mine for a while.  Not nearly long enough and we lost touch until recently.  I only have great memories of her.  She was the first person that I talked openly about being gay.  She told me she knew nobody chose to be gay because "no sane person would choose that tough a life on purpose"  She was painfully honest.  Sometimes so that it put me in my place which I am sure was her intent.  I remember how serious she was about being a good horsewoman.  Never shied away from putting in the time to get her patterns correct, or being prepared to show.  What I remember most, and what I think her special gifts were are her big boisterous laugh, and how proud she was of her Son Clint and her Husband Terry.  I can't begin to imagine how sad they are, but I sincerely hope they know just how much they were loved.  

Sometimes Memories have to be shared.

     Years ago, when I trained horses in Oklahoma I had a horse friend Janet, who became a horse customer.  We had some great adventures for a while.  Some of my favorite memories are from when I travelled with her.  The good people, good horses, and good memories are what make the horse business worth it. 

    I had a two year old pleasure colt for Janet and I helped her with her driving horse from time to time and we decided to head to Omaha, NE to show at the fall futurities they had at Ak Sar Ben,  For one reason or another we left late and decided to drive up the turnpike go through Kansas City and on into Omaha.  On the way through Topeka there was road construction and we had to detour through town and traffic sucked and we came upon some people picketing.  Keep in mind this would have been in the early 90's and they were holding up signs with sayings on them like "aids is gods punishment for fags" and "death to gays" and such and you guessed.  It was the Westborough Baptist Church.  Well I was looking in my mirror at Janet behind me and I could actually see this incredulous look on her face her mouth was gapped open.   You see Janet was from California and Kansas was a little more far religious right than she had experienced before.  I saw her pick up her phone and I answered and she said where the hell are you taking me,  get me out of here before we get killed.  and we wandered on our way to Omaha.  We both were showing yearling lunge line, various pleasure classes and Pleasure Driving.

My grandparents had driven in to watch us show and we were showing the driving while they were there.  We were both driving stallions and I had a decent go and for some reason Bubba was not in the driving mood that day and Janet was not happy.  We headed out the arena and up the ramp and my grandparents were at the top waiting.  Janet said I'm going to drive and your coming with me.  Now this is where the story actually gets fun.  Instead of un hooking and putting Jess away.  I asked my grandfather if he wanted to ride along.  He climbed in and off we went.  I need to explain at this time that my Grandfather knew how to drive. He had driving working horses when he was younger and when we were growing up he had shetland ponies and they all knew how to drive.  4 in Hand he did parades and such and took us for rides all the time.  We headed out to the track where we werent supposed to be and proceded to drive around it for a good long time.  Grandpa and I in one buggy and Janet in her buggy with me giving her guidance trying to get Bubba to come to the party.  At some point she side to get in her buggy and just drive him so I did.  My grandpa had watched me drive numerous times at shows.  I had never asked him, or even thought to ask him to drive one for me or for any help.  He was just happy to go along.  I quite stupidly asked him if he could "handle" driving Jess and said to just jog around until we finished.  I climbed in with Janet and off we went.  We had driven for a good long while jogging and road gaiting and working on various things and I was absorbed in what I was doing trying to bring Bubba to the party and we started road gaiting around the track.  After a few minutes Janet said dont look now but your grandfather is right behind us.  I hadnt given him a thought after getting in Janets buggy.  When I looked back he was roadgaiting just to our left, leaning back and over the shaft like a pro.  Jess was taking these huge strides with his shoulders up by hes ears pointing his toes, his neck hung out perfect just singing along .  I was crying in seconds.  The person in the world I loved the most driving the horse I loved the most.  It was like a moment frozen in time.   We continued aroud the track at the roadgait a ways basically until I gathered up my composure and then slowed to a jog and watched my Grandfather trot some circles and pivot around on one wheel back in a circle and basically put an a short driving clinic.  Just as matter of fact as breathing.   We headed back to the stalls trying to get there before dark where we found my grandmother sitting on a tack truck waiting patiently like she always did. 

     I have many many great horse show memories but that one will always be my favorite.  I enjoyed showing with Janet very much and feel terrible that we havent kept in touch better.I've never had the chance or taken the time until now to thank her for that moment.  If Bubba handn't been a dick, and she hadn't been frustrated I never would have had the opportunity to share driving with my grandpa.    Time and life get in the way and keep us from taking the time to do and say some of the things that we should. 

The Soul of America.

The Soul of America

     Joe Biden, Bernie Sanders, Michael Bloomberg and the rest of the Democrats have all used the phrase they are fighting for the soul of America.  True words.  The problem is they seem to have forgotten  what the soul of America is. 

     They are quick to judge and say that Republicans and Trump supporter are Deplorable, less Educated, ignorant, dont have college educations.  Just their very statements should be example enough of why we should be afraid of electing them.  We elect them.  They work for us. They are not there to impose their ideas and beliefs on us.  They are their with the express responsibility to govern as we see fit.  They have forgotten what the soul of America is.

Republicans and Trump supporters may very well be less educated than their Democratic counterparts.  So be it.  If believing in the American Dream, that America supplies the opportunity for you to live your best life.  To Work hard enough to find your American dream.  To live in a country where you can own a gun, either for protection or to hunt or as a private collector.  To live in a country where we can earn enough money to pay a reasonable amount for health care and insurance and be able to purchase a home.  To live in a country where we can enjoy hobbies, camping, racing, horses, hiking, etc.  To live in a country where we can have Choices on how we live our lives. 

The American dream does not include making enough money to pay for others to recieve free health care. It does not include making enough money to pay for other people to attend college and make bad life choices.  It does not include letting the government take our hard earned money and give it to those who refuse to be responsible for their own bad decisions.  The American dream does allow for us to make enough money to donate to causes that are near and dear to our hearts.  Which will all come to an end when the government takes that money and makes those choices for us.  Free health care due to catastrophic illness due to cancer or disease is one thing.  Free health care due to ones bad life choices is something entiely different altogether.  I already have to pay a premium due to other peoples poor life choices while I was growing up, I dont intend to spend more money for others peoples poor life choices now. 

According to the World Giving Index the United States ranks Second in the most benevolent countries in the world.  Seems to me that we do a pretty good job of giving money to the less fortunate already. 

When the Democrats talk about being in a fight to save the soul of America they are most definitely correct.   The problem is they are the ones that are trying to steal the soul of America and turn us into a welfare country.  They would be perfectly happy iif the U.S. turned into one giant slum filled with happy yet ignorant individuals educated by a system with lower standards, giving no time to cover the history of this country so that we can continue to evolve by looking back on our past mistakes. 

This is probably the most important election of my lifetime.  Win or lose I do not intend to let the government and racist, bigoted, single minded individuals take my civil rights away from me. 

America's Racism Problem

     I have been trying to avoid stating my opinion about this race problem we are having, but after the last two mass shootings, I think its time.  

     America didnt have a problem with racism until Barack Obama was elected and declared things are going to be different in America now.  That was true, and he saw to it.  The media chimed right in and for 8 years we became a nation manipulated by ones mans anger.  Anger that his black father abandoned him with his white mother.  To be raised by a very affluent and influential family.  He started his presidency against gay marriage and then changed his mind seeking votes.  You fell for it.  He said " if I had a son, he could be Trayvon"  That is a lie,  he would never have allowed his son to be walking home after 9pm through the projects.  His daughters have had a private education their whole lives.  He made the police out to villians every time they shot a suspect.  No matter how bad the crime, how bad the non compliance of the suspect the police we at fault.  He came from a city with the highest crime rate in the country.  So bad that they choose not to disclose black on black violence in there published crime figures.  In every speech he gave he decried the plight of the black American and how white people are oppressing them.  The country and the rest of us were made to feel that if we disagreed with the media and Obama we were racist.  He spent 8 years trying to convince mainstream America that White People owed Black People.  The gay community upon finally achieving equal rights laws has continued to push and push their own agenda.  Using litigation to try and force acceptance on anybody who refuses to bow to their beliefs.  

    Enter Donald Trump.  The man the media said has a less than 2% chance of getting elected.  He is brash, rude, crude socially unacceptable by 100% of the left.  Totally not politically correct.  He also doesn't give one shit if anybody likes him or not.  He is an unabashed Nationalist.  The lefts open repugnance of Trump leads them to systematically block every move he makes.  They use every shooting, every foreign conflict, every drop in the stop market, every military action as an opportunity to wail about what a racist White supremacist his is.  The left is pushing so hard against equality and declaring any white American a racist.  

     This is not the country I grew up in.  I love this country.  I love Memorial day, Labor day, the Fourth of July.  Columbus day, southern History, etc.  Where I grew up we used to have a huge 4th of July parade.  Fireworks.  a Water cannon contest between two fire crews from different fire stations.  People used to wave American flags and follow the parade and be proud to be an American.  I grew up seeing bumper stickers on cars that declared.  "America, Love it or Leave it"  Normal everyday Americans of every color are under attack daily by the media, Hollywood, the Democrats, Illegal Aliens, Universities, the Millennial. and Foreign countries who are unhappy with our new Nationalism.  Everyone not a Democrat is labeled a racist, a bigot, a white supremacist, a Nazi.  

     I believe some of the latest mass shootings are because of fear.  Fear that our very way of life here in America is going to be taken from us.  Fear that jobs, health care, food, cars, everything that we enjoy as Americans will disappear.  Simple people who have trouble expressing themselves feel they have to way to cope except to cope with violence.  Ive said it before.  Be careful how hard you push because the push back is usually much worse.